Wednesday, November 4, 2009

But I've never met a swine...

It's happened. What we've all been dreading for years and what's perhaps the worst news since we found out the Nobel Peace Prize is easier to attain than a full-time job. Ferrets have acquired the swine flu.. and cats too. So what am I prepared to do about this? I'll tell you. I'm prepared to wash that cat with soap and hair-filled water every day if I have to. I will shave off her flu-infested hair and rub her down with anti-bacterial gel before swaddling her like a baby. Really, that's just what I've wanted to do to her for a long time so keeping her safe from the plague should be a fairly easy transition. I'd even leave her alone if it might make her feel better.. maybe. In the meantime, I'm not going to tell her about this new threat. She has enough to worry about.. like me getting my hands on a pair of electric clippers.

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